29 October 2011

At 4 months

4 months have passed and we're still calling our little thing
'Breadcrumbs'. We use this cute icon conveniently whenever we text about the cub.


The 7300 grams of Breadcrumbs flips over with little help, and lunges himself forward as if he's ready to crawl.

His baby vowels have increased so much and it's really hilarious when he babbles non stop. He is starting to laugh and giggle aloud.

He has the most generous smiles and very friendly to strangers too.

I love it most when he looks at me affectionately and wraps his little fingers around mine.


Of course there are hair pulling moments like how he pulls his own hair and everybody elses, but he quickly makes up with his cute self.


At the mention of hair, I'm getting really scared as I'm shedding like autumn. Also, losing weight at an exponential rate too.. I didn't gain too much pregnancy weight to begin with due to the morning sickness slash, so it's all showing on my hollow cheeks and I'm looking as if I'm having morning sickness all over again.


It's a mixture of feelings whenever I bring the baby to the mirror, there he is all smooth and soft while I've never looked more haggard and tired.

It sounds great to look like a radiant mom holding my baby, but really I won't dwell too much on what's beyond my control. I'll be really happy though if I can just spend this winter cold-free.

24 October 2011

The Anniversary


oday is when we celebrate our wedding held in Japan 7 years ago.

I wrote about the same day last year, and named the post 'The Anniversary'.

What I didn't tell in the post back then, I was 5 days late by the anniversary day.

I didn't want to think too much about it for afterall it was the first time we tried. To be sure, I got my kit that morning and that's how all that cramping, headache and bloating explained.

I remember my feelings back then with so much detail that my eyes are warm with the same happy tears right now. :)

And so I had a surprise ready for Bear at our anniversary dinner! I was impatient throughout the slow meal as I couldn't wait for dessert, that's when I would pass him the kit ~ Happy Anniversary honey, I have a present for you. ;)

’本当に?’ he said. Yes honey, I know it all seems very orchestrated but yes, you are becoming a daddy soon!

But I remember telling him too that we may be rejoicing too soon as my age is a factor, and my health hasn't been too good since I've started living in Japan.


This year, there are 3 of us at the dining table. Bear and I had our favorite pizza, the little one watched on curiously and was foaming like a crab. It's ok we didn't make it to any place fascinating. Happiness has never been nearer next to the one you love. :)

Thank you God, for every single blessing.

22 October 2011



My sweetest little thing has turned 4 months today. :)

Every morning, I will breathe from behind his ear deeply, and hoping that I'll smell like him. I tap happiness from my darling my waking hours, it's soley him I see in our photos. There's a new self worth when I know how much my voice can calm my angel. The inner child in me holds his hand, we'll go to moon and return with a star together. I've never known a bigger motivation, hope and purpose.

Did I mention I'm a mom of 4 months already? I'm a newborn, a born again, a new being called 'mom'? Poke me, I'll ooze love.

But soon after I've typed all these from top of the world, I'm feeling everything else a mom doesn't want to know.

Especially after reading Fiesty Princess Charmaine.

The Dragon Mom.

Poor Yue Yue.

The missing 2 year old girl in Japan.

It's scary. You thought you're now an invincible new creation, but you're so wrong. A mom doesn't run the world for her own, but for the little ones she gives life to whose destinies she has no control over. She protects, defends, prays and hopes to her last breath.

Moms. You may not know them, but you connect with them all across the world. You'll shed tears for a stranger mom, and get on your knees for a suffering one. You even feel for your worst enemy, and bless her children. And humble yourself before God with hope that you'll never be tested.

It's all too bold for the gentler gender. And because I'm convinced not every woman has motherly instincts, I've been avoiding the issue my married years.

But now, let me embrace this complicated, delicate, vulnerable role. No regrets.

God, please bless the mothers and their children.


19 October 2011



ay 2 without Bear's paws. My shoulder and neck twisted as they go cahoots with the bad wrists.

Worry not. Every ballet-trained knows how to deal with twists. Never freeze yourself into a statue, that's making things worse. Rotate or move the affected part very slowly in all possible directions, it'll be painful but the stressed muscles will loosen up. Massages help too.


I'm cool, really! Catch this!

Me : I love you.

Baby : Smile.

Me : My 心肝宝貝 ( precious ).

Baby : SMILE.

Me : What's for dinner ... hmm. Can I pop one of your thighs into the oven tonight?

Baby : Grin.

Me : You like it with spice and herbs, or terriyaki style?

Baby : Big grin and started kicking excitedly.

I swooped my darling up, and gave the biggest tightest hug that could restore him back into my belly if we're made of jellies. Pain? What pain? He's my healer, my sweetener, the reason I carry on.

I'm blessed.

18 October 2011

10 days


OOK! He's using both hands!


Silly Bear almost jumped over the sofa to grab the camera, just because the cub held the zebra's tail in his right fist.

The cub has been doing his stuff with both hands since 1st week of 3 months Darling.
I do pity the busy dad who has been missing the cub's milestones.

Lucky him, he had some 10 days break to catch up with us, but not so lucky anymore when he had to lend his hands on home chores. Also, driving places to seek second opinion on my bad wrists.

We did some shopping, purchased new bulbs for the garden, chillax at cafes and eateries wee bit... Oh yes, and the cub's passport applied.

Today onwards, I'm back to my own with my chap. Sitting here recalling the past 10 days short of blog-worth...

But it was nice just by being together.

15 October 2011

For all we know


ver the past months some of my friends were lost and found thanks to FB.

I'm especially moved when 'reunited' with bad boy A. The heavy smoker with his playboy magazines who even bullied me a little, he's a born again now. An occupational therapist who helps the visually challenged, an image distant from his past.

And my secondary school friends who shared those bitter-sweet-bitter teenage years, we weren't kids raised in homes that taught stars could be reached. Disillusioned, none of us could see where we would be in 10 years. I guess most of us wished for lots and lots of luck when we graduated.

When 20 years have passed,

*Poor K who never seemed to do anything right, is now an associate director at a property firm.

*Shortskirt X travels the globe as an executive secretary.

*Gangsta A runs his own business with close connections at Dubai.

*Nerdy N a systems analyst.

*Shorty B makes his name in dance sports and belongs to a dance company.

*XY, E and F are raising 4, 5 and 6 children respectively.

*Soft V teaches at our very school.

Most had a taste of setbacks, but look how far they've come. I can't help feeling happy for everyone of them.

Bear let me down when my pot of greenie perished in summer. He thought I was trying to protest by letting it sit there, truth is I was hoping for a miracle though it seriously looked dying.

Then in the middle of all busyness, I forgot about why I didn't do away with it.

Until 2 months later, its promising green reminds me again of what I was waiting for.

And I'm reminded too, that even though sometimes things just never went my way, life just gets better.

It's a sweeter tomorrow. For all we know. :)

09 October 2011



On 30th September, it was when the cub turned a 100 days old and we held the お食い初め ( Okuizome ) for him. 

Lifted from the internet : The Okuizome is performed in hopes that the child would never have to worry about food. Although this may differ slightly by region, the Okuizome usually occurs 100 days after birth when the child starts to eat baby food. Some regions may do this on the 110th ~ 120th day. The baby only pretends to eat the food in this ceremony.

Bear got the cub his very own set of cutlery especially for the ceremony. It's surely way practical than the traditional lacquered ware as the latter isn't designed for durability.


Most of the dishes laid on the table signify a blessing for the child. I don't remember having worked so hard in the kitchen since his arrival, but I'll go miles if it's for my precious cos He. Is. Special! :D

Ok, I cheated on this Bream though as we had it ordered. :P

And I didn't make the red bean rice, the sushi, and the tart too. Grin.

Umm, you see... my wrists really hurt, and they still are. :/


But I can't explain myself anymore when I forgot about the stone that means strong teeth for the boy! In desperation, I brought out the stone his dad used for proposal.

Ok darling, mama promises to try harder for the next big thing. I'm just so glad that life offers so many celebrations for second chances. ;)

02 October 2011

Grab your covers



It's getting cold. Brr...