26 February 2009

Good things sent my way

Approaching late winter, Mr. Sun has not appeared for several days, while the sky poured buckets of rain. I would have been so terribly starved if I have to function by chlorophyll.

And finally, we're having very mild sunshine today! I'll be following the sun from window to window so as to let my Orchid eat its fill! =D


Yes, after the recent ordeal, things start to stabilize a little, I can't be more thankful that Rowndy is still with me. Recovered from cold shock, it's growing steadily and probably blooming in late Spring. =)


I rested from blogging a little these days in case I make the God-Blessed Box appear too sappy. Still not my usual self at this moment, gimme more sunshine (~~; ). However, admist the dreary days, there are still reasons to give thanks, for much good and bad, and those in-betweens. While coping with the loss of Phal Kun, I've received gestures of tenderness from people who have comforted me. They've helped.

A parcel flew over from a blogger friend, Helena, all the way from UK!

She prepared this gift during her trip to Ireland. It's an ornament in a shape of a pretty cat, made from black turf. I would have been so baffled by the name of the material, if it has not been explained as a deep and rich kind of soil.

The elegant cat that is supposed to bring good luck, carries a big smile. =) Helena's partner claims that it's the same smile she wears when she has her first cup of tea of the day, hence dubbed as her 'tea smile'. Look closer! =)


I love it! It feels like a thousand smiles showered on me, and her kindness conveyed. Thank you Helena! The cat has arrived timely and your 'tea smile' has eased my blues in a way. It now rests at a spot where I can see it everyday. Gotta smile like you!

And, not forgetting thoughts that may be less concrete, but truly loving by no less! Umeko-San sent me her blessings, something I can never get enough, and won't want to quit giving too!  梅子さん、ありがとう! So catch it people, I'm sending it to all of you, especially Sharilyn, for your mails and concern during the not-so-good days.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalms 30:5

18 February 2009

A missing piece

I have very faint memories of the recent trip to Singapore, apart from one : a boy bawling in a rowdy bookstore, seemingly lost. The mother hurried his way to calm the child and reassured him in loud affirmation, 'I will never leave you.'

Her promise resounded in my ears relentlessly. It stirred an enormous guilt in me, cos I've left what I considered precious, unattended in the cold. I could never be more foolish.

If you've read about what happened to Phal Kun, I'm most sad to tell you that he's gone.

For several days I've been trying to revive my baby. I've lost sleep, my stomach too busy tying knots to eat, but nothing helped bring ailing Phal Kun back to life.

I'll be lying if I claim that I'm ok. I deserve it. I miss him, the missing piece that makes the picture complete. I was tempted to brag, how he bloomed generously for more than 6 months, still bearing buds when I last bid him goodbye. And now he's here no more, with myself all ready to condemn, in sheer shame, regret, and bitterness. I've never hated myself more.

Just when I dived deep into self-loathing, God quietly prepared me for what was inevitable, and showed me other facets of life that hit me hard. I lost my Orchid to winter, it's a law of nature that God dictates. I earned my misery by a sorry mistake, while many others didn't. Those who've lost their lives, loved ones, poperties in forest fire, or other tragedies across the world. A plenty more in genuine pain, utter loss, or flatly underprivileged.

So I dried my tears, count my loss a lesson. Stop my wimps and remember that God is good! Life is good, unless I decide it's never! The experience shall surely grow me greener fingers, and groom me into a finer care-giver. I can always reap heaps of joy again!


Having said that... Deep in the backyard, honestly, I know that can never forget Phal Kun and how he has colored my days. Sniff. I thank the Lord for those times that I've been blessed with him.

I take the chance to thank all who've cared, prayed and offered a line of comfort. Spider Robinson said it well, shared pain is lessened, shared joy, increased. I should be ready to look for a new Orchid plant sometime later, and find the missing piece that will complete my joy again.

*He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awesome grace of God. Aeschylus

*When you lose, don't lose the lesson. Dalai Lama

In memory of Phal Kun


Thank you for all the joy. You'll be missed.

13 February 2009

Smile, hugs and smooches...


For everyone, loved, in love and loving. It's relevant to everyone!


In advance. =)

P/S : And God loves you. =)

10 February 2009

Tagged! And you're next!

Stardust is tagged, for the first time! For a long time actually, but I've been too occupied with stuff and much, so I sat on it for this long. Bad bad me.

First, I must thank friendly Sharilyn for this exciting game! I had fun reading her sharing, and pretty amused to discover that growing up, we actually shared what's truly weird too! Tingles...

Now, what's this tag about? List six random or weird facts about yourself, and then tag six others. Without further ado, here goes the factoids of mine...

1. I'm very much a tomboy actually, and strangely; a tomboy who is capable of very girly stuff too. That makes me a fusion of pretty drastic feminine and masculine properties.

2. A warrior at the buffet table, and an extremely fussy eater at the same time. I eat quickly, almost inhaling food, cos I like my meal fresh and hot. I won't touch stuff that has past its most delicious 'state', like food gone cold, melted ice-cream and etc.

3. A clean freak perhaps. I have low tolerance for dirt, but I can be quite messy sometimes. Having said that, I never fail to retreive my stuff instantly. Anybody figured out what I'm trying to say?

4. I shop swiftly with a rule of thumb : purchase what I need and fall in love at first sight. Fussy me, it's an evident innate behaviour, since I was a child! I hardly fall into sales enticement, or land up in 'which-to-choose' dilemma, though it usually takes painfully long for me to get something I truly fancy. Of one thing I'm sure, I'm happy with every personal item I own and cherish them a great deal.

5. The weaknesses I can think of immediately, must be pain and weight. I have a low threshold of pain, and dread load a lot. Which often makes me wonder if I'll survive childbirth and pregnancy, =(((

6. I'm feeling guilty about this constantly, I admit being wasteful sometimes. Now that I'm married and taking up more responsibilities, I'm learning to be a prudent steward and striving to be more careful with resources.


I would love to tag everybody!!! But I understand that many have bigger agendas to attend to, so I'm trying my best to tag those who probably may afford the time. Hey, I'm not implying who's loafing, c'mon, have fun!

Nessie, SAHM, Kimberly Butterfly, Ellena, MaryAnn and Dilly, you're next. ;)

03 February 2009

Prayer request

Stardust has returned to Japan after 2 weeks' break at Singapore.

Honestly, at this moment, I'm not very keen about blogging. For those who may know about my precious Orchid plant, Phal Kun ( right picture ), it wasn't doing very well duing my absence. =(

He bloomed beautifully since July, holding his 21st to 23rd flower and 5 buds when I left for holiday. I really, really shouldn't have left it all alone, and again!! after having learnt my lesson once last year. I truly loathe myself at this moment.

The wretched look of Phal Kun, breaks my heart into pieces.



I know... it's all my fault. I've been such a thoughtless and irresponsible owner, I don't deserve it, I don't deserve Phal Kun at all. But will anyone please join me in my earnest prayer for my gem. I'm not quitting and I truly don't want to lose Phal Kun. I'm trying every possible way to revive my plant, and I hope that it'll respond desperate attempt.

If there's anyone who is likely to understand the present state of Phal Kun, please share your opinion.

Sorry to share such depressing ( and probably childish news ) in the midst of the Chinese New Year celebration. If you ask me, my biggest wish now is to salvage my dying precious. Your prayer is most appreciated.