While you were ...

To : パンコ

In case you care to read mama's blog one day, I thought I should let you know...

In December 2011, we returned to Japan from Singapore with a bad cold.  Things were tough with mama's bad wrist but praise God for the wonderful baby in you that made things easy for me.

Days were hard after our return, I was so tired that I could barely talk.  Were you lonely?  I don't know but I often caught you smiling while playing by yourself.

It took 4 days to finally make you accept baby food.  Mama just sat beside you and pretended to enjoy my own plate, and it worked!  And then you turned 6 months...

We got back on time to celebrate your first Christmas with daddy, and New Year of course.  Know that everybody at dad's place adored you, you were the star. 

I was telling daddy on New Year's eve that we ought to capture more of your cute toothless smiles, 2 days later we found your milkies coming out!  It really was a mishmash of feelings dear.  I was delighted at your tiny surprise popping but also sad to know that you're growing less a baby.

You loved the curtain didn't you.   And of course, I could do the laundry effortlessly even with you around, no brainer; because you enjoyed watching me work.

I held my breath when you started wiggling on the floor and pushing your limbs.  It was funny to watch you grunting and trying so hard only to move very little.

We made you a snow bear the day you turned 7 months.

 

 You were one baby who really liked it cold.  I remember that you were cranky in Singapore everyday!

 It was Chinese New Year that day and for the first time I gave out an ang pow as a mom. :D

When you refused to nap on 31st Jan, we played as I placed you on my body and you fell asleep in my bosom.  And this is how we've kickstarted your 'koala habit'.

Your walker was the in thing then.  You loved speeding with arms raised 90 degrees and chin forward. 

And when you could really do tummy crawling, that was when I started mopping the floor every night after you went to bed.

Then as your radius of exploration started expanding, I had to make use of your dreaded toy to stop you from entering the kitchen.  You were so cute to be that spooked and it was hilarious to watch you retreat.  Hahahaha...

You could sit by 7 months, and started eating self-made baby food greedily.  You really really loved apple.

Did I tell you that you were one talkative baby and you often chuckled at nothing. You could go 'mamamamamama~' just 2 days after I've taught you 'mama'.  



And of course, you could never stop flirting with strangers.

Missing my boy

I've received quite a few delightful news from friends this year.  They've got a new baby!  All pink and wrinkled and soft and sleepy newborns smelling like milk.


 

And every baby's popping only makes me miss my boy, his earlier months ~ while his neck must be held to be burped, his poo runny, he was resistless during changing of clothes and diaper, the satisfied look on his face after nursing and that noisy smack on his lips, toothless smiles...

There are endless memories of my precious that have turned a little foggy by now and I regret having stopped blogging about him since 2012 started, mostly because I needed time for chores.  First things first you know.


 

And my mind's telling me now the first thing to do is to preserve the memories before they fade completely... 

The cub is turning 1 in a couple of weeks.  Can you believe it?  I wish someone had keep nagging me from the start about how quickly he'll grow up.

That's why I keep telling friends who've just got their newborn. Haha.

Rounding up May

Friends who have been here long enough know that May is a very special month for us.

8 years

We had our bronze wedding anniversary 1st May, though we didn't arrive at the day like how people thought we would, in fact, the past year is one we've been most tested.  Some said the 3rd person triggered it all - the innocent baby.  I think it's more like we had our honeymoon 7 years too long, and mature too little. But it's ok.  We'll grow, alongside with the baby.

37 years old

I've turned 3 years shy of Chapter 40, though I feel like 25, reason like 28, move like 39 and look like 44. My birthday wish is being pain-free forevermore.   Last year was a tough one for me.  To name the majors : I went through 22 hours of contraction.  Endured 3 months of painfully damaged tendon.  Had a surgery on my left wrist and still working on the stiffness.  3 days before my birthday, I fell and fractured the forefinger on the right, which should take another month to heal.  Rejoice with me, for I guess my mid-life crisis is over!!.  I'm so looking forward to my wholesome self again.

Children's Day

5th May is Children's Day in Japan.  The cub had his many firsts.  First balloon, first snack gift, first origami paper.  Being a parent is great!  I felt like a child again when receiving the goodies on his behalf.

And our spirits soared as we raised the carp streamer at home to celebrate the day the traditional way.

Bear's birthday

I wish I could make his favorite dishes like I always did, but not with my finger swollen like a smooth sausage. He can have my finger.  

Mother's Day

I never thought Mother's Day could become a special day for myself.

For the longest time I couldn't understand why I should be born a girl and all that bitterness just ate me alive.  But now, I've finally reconciled with myself.  I'm a brand new person with a purpose and a vision.  Being a woman finally feels wonderful, I wouldn't have known this self worth until I have my child.

Mothers are thanked on this day.  But really, I think I have my baby to thank for giving me such a great start in life.  Wow.

11 months

In Japan, babies under one are considered 零才 : zero years old.  How cute is that?  Sadly, this is the final month my cub stays 零才. Why should time pass so quickly when babies are so so cute.

And why should beautiful May be over so quickly. 

May I never forget that it was God's grace that made everything beautiful. :)

On blogging

Ahh... Spring.. my favorite season.  I can't tell you how much I love it even without having it whole.  

 

 I am bursting with memories to blog about but at this point of time, blogging looks more like a pile of files to clear.   Yet I know that blogging the memories count for if there comes a day I'm grey or able to idle again, the blog will be ripe and good to read.

So I'll try.  For my own sake.  Me, myself and I.

Recalling the earlier blogging years.. I used to avoid parenting blogs and mommys' blogs as I couldn't find a relevance in their lives, much less leave a sensible comment.  As for those mommies I'm keeping up with, they are precious friends I've made thanks to blogging.  

The way I see how I'll blog from now, it's going to be the kind of blog I used to shun, writting mostly about the cub, the cub and the cub.  It will send any carefree soul away, or even cure an insomnia... hahaha.

But he matters to me, I'm all about him now.

It's only natural that people go.  But thank you for if you're still staying around and asking how we're doing.   

To everything there is a season, I'm glad it's my time to be a mom. :)

First Spring

It's Spring.  A brand new season in my life.  I haven't known what bliss is until I get to welcome Spring with my boy this year.  It's his first Spring, likewise mine, there my heart a million blooms.  I'm blessed, so blessed to tears.

 

We could have put Winter behind trouble-free, until a week ago, both of us came down with a virus caught during the 9th month health examination, now how very helpful is that.  All at once the boy had his several firsts, a fever coupled with running faucet, vomit and awful slumber.  Seriously, I haven't been scared like this time for as long as I remember.  I wish I could take his place though I was suffering the symptoms no lighter.

Well at least the cub could still smile and play!!

But I didn't forget the morning he woke up burrowing into my bosom, sulking. Daddy replaced me the night before as I was too sick to attend to him, which probably explained his insecurity.  Your knees will go weak at those large pitiful pleading eyes, ohh...

I guess it's a few days more before the discomfort subsides, and we'll come back stronger, happier.  God is good.  We could have been sick during the colder season which take longer to recover, ya know.

We slipped off for some fresh air today nevertheless.  The cub was in an adventurous mood, and in his usual flirtatious self.  The latter I don't know where he got from.

BLOGGER!!

Dear Blogger!

 

I don't mind if the change takes place for the majority good.  Unfortunately, it's not working for me and others too many!  I can't crack the HTML this time, and I really have no time for the new language.  Please please pleeaassseee restore the 'shrink to fit' feature to the header design unless it's adjusting intelligently.  You read me Blogger?  You're about to ruin this blog I've maintained for years!

 

Not funny Blogger, not funny.  I hope it's not some ill April Fool's joke.

 

A cross blogger who is still up trying to mend the broken site.

Now Stardust is really mad this time.

Move over

Testing testing...

This is the first post rolling out using the new interface.  Let's see how it goes.

All's well here on my end.  We're having the last falls of snow, I guess.  It's on the news today, sakura is blooming around mid April at my area.   So move over, Snow.  The bunny in me is already hopping crazy. I can't wait to welcome my favorite season again. :)


And hopefully, I get to blog a wee bit more.   


*  Ok, the header picture is not working... :/

Wait up...

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Look at him, my cub turning 9 months in 4 days.




Everyday I wake up to see my baby taller, bigger. There's this increasing intelligence in his eyes, sometimes I'm just incapable of fooling him anymore.



I'm forever guilty of the fact that I'm always trying to settle him somewhere safe rather than allowing him explore, as my bad wrists might not be fast enough to save him. I've never helped him like how my peers do their part as wonderful parents, but Mother nature is kind, the cub figured out much by himself. His 8th month is one of growth spurt, he sits up on his own, kneels as he pushes wheels around, pulls himself up to a standing position at the sofa and flashes big satisfactory smiles while doing so.



Hours ago I discovered his milk teeth cutting through the upper bed and they just punctured my heart. In days to come the little one will flash me two brand new milkies and continues meeting new milestones...





Though there's no greater joy seeing you growing up healthy and happy, darling I really miss you as the fresh newborn whom we've just brought back home. Baby I really do.

*****

I pinch myself to check if I'm still alive when a freshman mom, and another one, and one more! tell that they don't know how to carry on, while they have the support of their mother, mother-in-law, siblings, maid and friends. Erm, I can and can't relate to that. You know sometimes there's this faint wish of I know what 'support' is like.



Forget what I said.



But I really know that God is good, for the wonderful baby in my arms, but that doesn't mean things have been simple in other respects. For the past months, I've been so choked up in much matters that distract me from the cub, I guess that's why I end up 'missing' him all the time, especially after he has gone to bed. And suddenly the baby is so grown before I have enough of him. I wish that the energy meant for my baby hasn't been wasted on other stupid issues...



But I think the peak is over, it's time I start to breathe.



Wait up boy, wait up. Mommy is coming, and I hope that I'll miss out the joy of having you no more.